"I can't read while I'm asleep!"

Last night I dreamed that I was in a stage production of The Sound of Music and had to sing "My Favorite Things" (though I was not, as far as I know, playing the part of Maria). I had a script that I was supposed to be learning the words from, but was having some trouble, since (as per my blog entry Not a post about Batman) the words kept changing every time I looked at them. I was getting a bit panicky since I had only a few hours before the performance, and I couldn't get the darn words to hold still.

Instead of "When the dog bites" it said "when the time warps." I remember thinking that was rather odd (and anachronistic), but when I looked at it again it said "When the gems warp."

"Ah!" I thought, "I guess that makes a little more sense." (Not.)

I believe there was also a line about Barbra Streisand's nose, but I don't remember how that one went.

Finally, very frustrated, I took my script to the lady in charge, jabbed my finger at the offending passage, and asked, "Could you just read this part for me?  Out loud?" 

She asked, "Can you read it out loud?"

And I, in great exasperation, exclaimed, "I can't read while I'm asleep!"

I guess declaring myself to be sleep must have trigged something, because then I woke up.